Worth a struggle

I hate to admit it. I’m a MOM.
No I haven’t had any sort of operation nor has my belly grown that large that someone offered me a seat on the train.

Missus over Mates - that’s what it is. At least that's what my friend Jon calls it.

I remember the conversation that day , the sky was black and full, an outburst of rain was imminent and we were sitting in the local Wetherspoons. It was surprisingly full being a wednesday, but then again I'm in England.

‘‘You’re an idiot. You're hardly out with your mates. You’ve become a MOM.’’

“What? Why am I an idiot? I met you yesterday. And what the hell is a MOM?”

“I just felt like calling you an idiot. MOM is Missus over Mates. You spend far too much time with her. And we didn’t meet yesterday, you saw me at a bus stop and told me about it three hours later”.

“Aww I didn’t know you miss me so much” , I smiled.

Pause.
“ No, I don’t. No one else has such a funny face” .

I’ll omit how I responded to that.

Nevertheless, Jon, in his moment or warmth, was referring to Pooja, the girl I’d been dating since the last couple of months. I’d always thought of myself as someone who gives a good amount of time to the people who matter. And I expect that of others too. In fact, I’m sure I’ve said the exact same thing to my friends , albeit less sophisticatedly .

There's no arguing though , if I think about it, it’s true.
I have been spending a lot more time with Pooja, and much less with the guys. In fact, life’s actually changed more than that. I’ve started eating more vegetables, I’ve not been drunk in a month. I’ve been spending my weekends in shopping malls and I now have new bathroom curtains.

I don’t really know whether it’s because of her or me or the fact that we’re a new couple and that’s what happens with new couples.

It’s not that I don’t want to . She’s a lovely girl and a lot of fun to be with. In fact I really like her. But after a while, a man needs to get out and be with his man-mates. You know; watch the football, beer, get trashed, hunt for skirts and laugh about it over a hangover the next day. And I couldn’t bear the thought of being completely ostracised from that inner circle, spending more time on H&M’s women’s floor than the dance floor.

I mean come on, which man ever lets the woman control his movements, right?

So I tried desperately to defend myself “What about when we went out last Friday? That was fun”.

“ What when you left at 10? “. It’s true, in fact I left at 9.30.

“Oh and the match last Saturday?” Although, I did miss both the goals because I was frantically texting her about plans later.

But just like all the important but unanswerable struggles in life like money vs happiness and milk chocolate vs. dark chocolate, man will almost never be able to divide time equally with the missus and the mates. And I guess we should resign ourselves to that fact.

That having been said, I've booked a night out with the guys this Friday. I never was comfortable with being a MOM.