55 word story

I was browsing through some blogs and read about this 55 word story that peopl were making up. they were being tagged and then had to make up as quick as possible a 55 word story. I did a test. I wrote one as soon as i read about it and another with some thought put into it. I wonder which one came out best.

1st one without thinking
Guy sees girl. Falls in love. There’s a thorn somewhere. Either the father or the war. Boy takes the beating and impresses you. We all love the story and it’s kingdom of heaven. Why I’m concerned is it’s always this way. That’s why I don’t want to narrate its kind again. I hoped to atleast.

2nd story with some (15 mins) thought
Once long ago there lived a little girl called Berezovsky Barabanschikova. She lived with her middle class parents in Central Russia. This is her fairytale. She went to school, got married with the consent of her parents and then lived to see her grandchildren. She died neither rich nor poor with her husband beside her.

what do you think?